If you’re a working mom, whose realized that in order to “have it all” – supportive husband, happy family life, thriving career and healthy habits – you have to give up the idea that you need to “do it all” than Tiffany Dufu’s book “Drop The Ball” is a must read.
Tiffany’s actionable wisdom and anecdotal stories puts language to what so many working moms, like me, have been socialized to think as it relates to gender roles at home.
When I was girl, my parents encouraged me to dream big!
At 10, when given a school assignment on what we wanted to be when we grew up, I boldly stated that I wanted to be the first black female Prime Minister of Canada.
In my high school yearbook at 15, I stated my career goal of working for the prolific Johnny Cochrane’s as I dreamed of taking over courtrooms, battling it out for my client and ultimately making partner in a prestigious law firm.
But something changed as I moved from childhood to adulthood. My dreams became less bold and more “realistic”.
My concerns shifted to questions around work-life balance, my obligations as a mother and scaling my ambitions to make room for a family – all before family and having kids were even on my radar.
I was thinking about “leaning out” before I even “got in” because, as women, we’re socialized to think that we need to consider these things.
I started making decisions based on my future “perceived” obligations rather than my current ambitions and I ultimately chose a different career path that would allow me to have both family and career.
Fast forward to when my daughter was born 4 years ago. I felt the overwhelming pressure to devote myself to my changing role while also tending to the ambition inside of me that knew I wasn’t ready to flat line my career with the mommy track – I was just getting started!
Today my All-In Partnership has shifted the gender roles and have allowed both my hubby and I to excel at home AND at work.
Have I dropped the ball at home to make room for my career success? Yes!
Has it allowed my family and career to thrive because I’m no longer freaking out at dishes in the sink or laundry on the floor? A resounding HELL yes!
And today, my daughter’s reality is one in which both parents are working towards having a healthy, happy home AND career.
When I think of the things holding working mothers back from going ALL-IN on both the work and home fronts, it’s the belief that what works in the office won’t work at home.
At work, we create to do’s, prioritize and delegate to make space for everything that needs to get done. Yet at home many women abandon these same qualities that make them successful at the office in favor of traditional gender roles that no longer serve our increasingly uncoventional world of work.
The 4 Go To’s Tiffany mentions in Drop The Ball are “essential to as women’s ability to prosper at home AND at work.”
She shares that it’s about being as intentional with our calendars as we are with our to do lists.
It’s about trusting out partners to pick up what we put down without second guessing their ability to do the job right.
It’s about putting aside our OCD (or in Tiffany’s case, HCD) to allow the mental bandwidth to thrive in the areas of our life that matter most.
This book is chalked full of little gems that will help you own your career AND your home.
The book’s bottom line, summed up:
It’s about doing what matter most to advance our leadership at work AND at home while empowering the next generation of girls to feel confident letting go of what isn’t serving them (with traditional gender roles) and intentionally dropping the ball to make room for what does!
Drop The Ball is an important read for any women looking to slay the boardroom, while making room for the happy, healthier marriage and family life she deserves.
How will you “drop the ball” this week to make room for more success? Leave your comments below!