I see it time and time again. I have even been guilty of it several times in my own career and life. Feeling like the only way I could advance within an organization or in my life, was by fitting myself into the mold of what a (fill in your title or role here) should be. I though that if I could just fit into the box and overachieve on everything, I would be rewarded with a fast track promise that reflected the goals of where other people saw me in my life. I was, in essence, taking a passive role in my own success.
But, you know what I realized. I wasn’t built to fit the mold. I was made to create my own!
Too many of our parent’s generation did just that! They showed us that in order for us to get ahead in the world, we had to learn to be like everyone else. And I believe that in many respects, they were right!
Now I want to be clear. I know how important it is to understand and align yourself with an organization’s company culture and your family dynamics. I believe that if your values don’t align with that of your organization or your role as mom or wife, you may be highly surprised by your level of dissatisfaction and resentment you feel towards others. What I am really talking about is everyone else’s expectations, I am talking about yours!
When you understand yourself and your values, you become less likely to take the back seat to your career and life. I have seen it so many times before, clients who look back on their life’s journey, regretting the fact that they didn’t speak up for themselves or take a more active role in their own success. Some have worked their whole life and still have no idea what they are passionate about or whether they enjoy their work. That, my friends, is not intentional living.
I have 4 questions to ask you on whether forcing yourself into a box is hurting your success rate in career and in life.
Are you the sole giver in the situation?
Some of us give more than others when it comes to our career and our life. Our motivation to do well and work hard has provided the framework for all the things we do. We work late, raise our hand to manage projects and take on added responsibilities and over give in all areas. That may work for you and your lifestyle, but are you the sole giver in the situation? How has that relationship affected how you view yourself and your self-worth?
If doing all that doesn’t make you happy or hasn’t positively impacted what you want for your life, then why are you doing it?
Learn to speak up and claim the value your work brings to the marketplace. If trying to run the race “like everyone else” is making you unhappy, check yourself and find a work situation that allows your best self to shine.
And be patient with yourself. Opportunity doesn’t always come when you ask it to. It comes when you are ready to receive!
RG